Scott 'Poopyfoot/LizardKing' Munro

ORIGIN OF NICKNAMES: CLASSIFIED  

  Imagine... a man, no, more than a mere man, but a giant, with the girth of a rhino, the neck of a bull, and the power of a yeti. Yea, such a beast walks, monstrous, ferocious, unstoppable, endowed with a gorilla's strength (and looks...ah, Scottie, how hearts will flutter...) and a carnivore's insatiable lust for the hunt, and all enemies of the PIG tremble and bedwet, for he is in our service.

In the grand and glorious tradition of Steinbeck's Lenny, Scott was once nothing more than an affable, hulking boob, who Mother Nature cruelly endowed with a pea-sized intellect and an irrational fear of sexual intercourse. Often misunderstood and feared for his massive size and slurred, simple speech, Scott found himself harried and hunted from town to town, until an incident involving a loin cloth, a leaf blower, and a hapless goat left him incapacitated and at the mercy of vengeful, superstitious country folk.

The eyes and ears of the PIG are everywhere, and a search and rescue operation, led by the stalwart WEASEL, Lord of Fedon, retrieved the seemingly doomed creature, and whisked him away to our vast, underground lab complex, where our experts in genetics and mutation forged a brain and soul fit for a warrior born.

Now his massive strength is tempered and honed by a keen intellect and sharp cunning, and the PIG knows no fear with such a living weapon in its arsenal. While Scott refused all desperate offers (bribes, castles, etc.) for plastic surgery in order to have a daily reminder of his primordial past, his request for a working libido has left our scientists baffled in their efforts to comply.

While the world may never be graced with another Munro, it can still take comfort in the knowledge that one of its finest champions stands ever vigilant at his post, safeguarding the collecting pursuits and passions of all PIG PATRONS.